In Control?
"Because I said so." I swore I would never use that statement as a parent. It was a promise that, sadly, I did not keep. The default position of flexing muscle comes out of frustration when you feel the ones you have been given charge of by The Holy Spirit or by your appointment, make what you believe to be bad choices or go against your wishes, refusing to change. Of course, I have to ask if we really have a lock on truth.
I have tried during the last 15 years of my officership, not result to muscle flexing with employees, soldiers or volunteers. Here is the reason. Power can be corrupt if not kept in check.
Leadership that comes from flexing one's muscle, turns into bullying and does little to develop those under your influence. Instead, it usually breeds passive aggressives.
Now, to be fair, there are times when leaders, parents, teachers and pastors, need to speak a hard word of correction. If someone has strayed biblically or has just been a bad influence in the community of Christ, they need to be made aware that they are outside of where they need to be.
Leaders who think that by speaking a word or making a policy that they can control people are sadly mistaken. The notion that we can control people and their actions is an illusion.
So what is a leader to do? I have learned so much from my mentor in this last year. He is such a good pastor. He LOVES people and he is firm, but gentle. He also does not major in minor issues. He wants people to be mission productive. He asks hard questions about their work ethic, but he asks about their heart as well. He encourages them at all costs. Even in the most negative of circumstances he looks for the positives to share in the situation. Because of that, he leads effectively. People want to follow him.
There is one more thing about him. He is sacrificial. He has no sense of entitlement. In other words, position and possessions don't matter to him. He is comfortable with the least of things. He is cheap too!
Sadly, I am not so sure that all leaders have that mindset. Something happens and sadly, at times, has happened to me at times when we find ourselves "in charge." We try to control people. We begin to bark orders. We resort to a "because I said so" mentality. No doubt, someone needs to lead, set the pace, and yes, at times make the incredibly difficult call to discipline and occasionally, end employment or even the "professional" ministry of people. It is a hard decision. Yet, even if we think we can control people; we can't. People just don't salute and go anymore.
Trying to control is a bankrupt notion to me. I am not sure it is biblical. Maybe we who find ourselves as leaders need to take a good look. I think that we really need to think about who is really in control. I would think that if we really want to be in control, we are not really a leader, but insecure. After all isn't the Holy Spirit the one who is our leader?
I would like to hear from leaders of families, churches, ministries and those who are followers. Is control illusory? Is control biblical? Is control necessary?
As with all my posts, I would like to know, "What do you think?"
I have tried during the last 15 years of my officership, not result to muscle flexing with employees, soldiers or volunteers. Here is the reason. Power can be corrupt if not kept in check.
Leadership that comes from flexing one's muscle, turns into bullying and does little to develop those under your influence. Instead, it usually breeds passive aggressives.
Now, to be fair, there are times when leaders, parents, teachers and pastors, need to speak a hard word of correction. If someone has strayed biblically or has just been a bad influence in the community of Christ, they need to be made aware that they are outside of where they need to be.
Leaders who think that by speaking a word or making a policy that they can control people are sadly mistaken. The notion that we can control people and their actions is an illusion.
So what is a leader to do? I have learned so much from my mentor in this last year. He is such a good pastor. He LOVES people and he is firm, but gentle. He also does not major in minor issues. He wants people to be mission productive. He asks hard questions about their work ethic, but he asks about their heart as well. He encourages them at all costs. Even in the most negative of circumstances he looks for the positives to share in the situation. Because of that, he leads effectively. People want to follow him.
There is one more thing about him. He is sacrificial. He has no sense of entitlement. In other words, position and possessions don't matter to him. He is comfortable with the least of things. He is cheap too!
Sadly, I am not so sure that all leaders have that mindset. Something happens and sadly, at times, has happened to me at times when we find ourselves "in charge." We try to control people. We begin to bark orders. We resort to a "because I said so" mentality. No doubt, someone needs to lead, set the pace, and yes, at times make the incredibly difficult call to discipline and occasionally, end employment or even the "professional" ministry of people. It is a hard decision. Yet, even if we think we can control people; we can't. People just don't salute and go anymore.
Trying to control is a bankrupt notion to me. I am not sure it is biblical. Maybe we who find ourselves as leaders need to take a good look. I think that we really need to think about who is really in control. I would think that if we really want to be in control, we are not really a leader, but insecure. After all isn't the Holy Spirit the one who is our leader?
I would like to hear from leaders of families, churches, ministries and those who are followers. Is control illusory? Is control biblical? Is control necessary?
As with all my posts, I would like to know, "What do you think?"
posted by Larry at 8:40 AM
5 Comments:
Lots to say here and nothing to say at all. You’ve said it well. I would only extend your post by suggesting that when we do attempt to control, we…
(a) lead an organization in a direction that reflects only the character and creativity of the person in control, rather than reflecting the gifts and passions of many which, if I understand spiritual gifts, is the way it’s supposed to work. No wonder then that organizations can become very dull and irrelevant once the person in control no longer has their “finger on the pulse”. In the case of a global denomination, it’s simply ignorant to suggest that one person could possibly understand the needs and relevancy of one local church compared to another. That’s why, when people suggest that the traditional Army is going strong in Africa, so should work just fine in North America, I have to simply turn and walk away, understanding that I’m speaking with an ignorant person.
(b) Future visionaries won’t stick around for it. We’ve mixed up the notion of leader and visionary. You can control and still raise up future leaders, but they will be status quo leaders, capable of nothing more than holding down the fort (with a few exceptions, of course). If your organization has hopes of sticking around for fifty years or more (one could argue that it’s actually much less in today’s quickly changing world), you need future visionaries. Future visionaries don’t stick around once they come to understand that the current controlling leader has no relevant vision for the future, and that visionless leaders have a death grip on leadership for the next several decades or more. Those types of leaders leave and start something new. Ever heard of William Booth?
(c) The people you’re left with are emotional and spiritual vegetables. This will be controversial, I know (and that is why I’m typing it on your blog!), but we’re nearly there in the Army. Consider the people we’re sending to training college these days. Our pool to draw from has become shallow at best. Many of our best people are simply moving on. I’ve had FOUR SETS of good officers tell me this year that they’re moving on once their current appointment is over. And several of them are moving on to lead other churches. My own supervisor (program director) left to pastor a Baptist church two years ago. !!!
What’s most alarming about all of this is that many of our current leaders seem determined to sink our church to the bottom of the ocean if it means that they’ll be able to keep things from changing. In fact, in one of his early speeches, our current general suggested that nothing would change under his watch. So far he’s been dead on about that.
Some scattered thoughts
you ask: Is control biblical? Is control necessary? Control, power and authority are similar concepts that can be played out in a variety of ways. Bottom line, we can't control another person - take the example of a child having a temper tantrum in the supermarket aisle. Good luck. However, biblical authority is a godly principle that is vital to the church.
It would seem to me that when biblical authority is most effective, the following is present:
1. the integrity of the one(s) who lead and those who are led
2. a willingness to work together to find solutions
3. a willing submission to the authority of the leader once the decision is made
that's the best-case scenario.
However: we've been spending time with our teens around the subject of bullying. While research indicates that the middle school years are most impacted by bullying, I wonder about when playground power transfers into boardroom power (and yes, appointment board power). In talking with the kids about potential responses when being bullied, they don't seem too helpful. Tell an adult (someone in charge). Walk away. Don't act scared. I wonder, would an employee or soldier feel comfortable talking with the DC about their CO who is a bully? A CO about the DC?
I wonder about the way our system is set-up for power and control. The military persona, the 'in charge,' commanding officer terminology - it's what we know. That's why mentors like yours, Larry, are absolutely invaluable to suggest that there is another way.
What models of leadership are being taught at SFOT? A recent interaction with new officers has me wondering, as there was a blatant, "I'm in charge and I can do what I want" attitude. Scary.
One resource I've found helpful (although rather long) is Elizabeth Janeway's powers of the Weak.
"Because I said so" - it is not a trivial response to know - no one likes to hear it, no one likes to use it. It does feel like all power has been usurped, that there is no longer any input.
You are very right, leadership must be carried carefully, not running amuck and bullying through power acquisition. It is impossible to force someone to change or to control another individual.
The matter of foundational integrity is key to submission, which is what I believe is a tangent of your topic. It is challenging to motivate adults to submit to authority. Its not easy, its not simple and its not trivial...yet it is vital to successful leadership.
It is challenging to continue to nurture the trust which is necessary to have others to follow...yet it is vital to successful leadership. Sacrificial leadership is the rich soil which grows these vital fruits.
Your mentor works daily on those topics, as do you. And you are very right - there are times when "Because I said so" is the right decision.
Power acquisition and use is a lifelong adventure for all of us - children through adults, and needs to have in-built guidelines as to how it is acquired individually and used individually. These in-built guidelines need Christian supports, rivets and beams for it to be translated as Christian leadership.
tim,
You crossed the line in your point (c) when you made reference to the quality of SA officers. You seem to suggest that officers of any quality have long since left The Salvation Army or are about to. That's an astounding statement to make! As for your reference to those entering training: if you're talking about your home territory then you are offending my colleagues in ministry, if you're talking about the territory you are currently serving in then you're offending my friends. And me! Reading between your lines you seem to be presenting yourself as someone of a higher quality than most officers.
Perhaps you should also not be so quick to think that people in leadership want to "sink" the SA because of a refusal to change. I've occasionally read your blog where you've spoken about investigating new areas of mission within your context - has your DHQ really tried to put a halt to trying something different?
Larry,
For the Christian, there is only one way of leadership: the example of the one who said, 'Come, follow me.'
Jesus knew how to speak words of rebuke, he also knew how to speak tender words of compassion - or even be silent.
Regarding the issue of power, it's worth taking a look again at the incredibly subversive words of Jesus to Pontius Pilate as they exchanged thoughts on this issue. (John 19:10-11)
Dear jsi and Cosmo, and for future reference, I point to the phrase “with a few exceptions, of course” as witness to the fact that I do not think all of our officers are of poor quality. Far from it. I’m currently leaving a comment on the blog of an officer whom I consider to be exceptional. I also happen to think that my current division has quite a few solid officers who I would be happy to have pastor me inside or outside of the Army. My last division was of equal value in this department.
That said, I stand by my statement that we are dipping into a very shallow pool when it comes to our recruitment of officers. It would be hard to point out specifics without being very obvious, but it would be fair to say that a large number of our officers would not and could not be hired as pastors in other denominations. Not necessarily the majority, but certainly a large number.
It was not my intention to offend with that statement, and maybe it’s unfair to use Larry’s blog to say the things that we’re not allowed to say, but wish we could, but I look around and see an Army that is very unhealthy. I suppose we can go on not pointing out huge pink elephants in rooms, but that doesn’t seem to have gotten us anywhere nearer to our goal of reaching the lost and changing the universal church’s attitude about mission.
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