Being Defined or Defining Your Being?
I have been called many things in my life. Some of those things are not repeatable except for maybe on Joe Noland's new blog "slightly irreverent." If you have not read it click on the link to Joe on the right and follow the link to his new blog. I am sure though that Joe would not want to be numbered with those who called me some of the worst names of my life. He is a good and godly man!
I have been called many things. The list is endless. Dad, Captain, Cappy (S-E-B-A-G-O), Major, CO, TYS, innovator, malcontent, liberal, conservative, rebel, Christian, disturbed, goofy, funny, buddy, friend, boss and son are some of the many things that I have been called. I am sure there are other names of which I am not aware. I have often let names and titles define me. I have been in my current role just over a year. It is rather administrative in nature. Many people have chided me over the past year, because they contend that I often do not act as I should in this role. I have been told by many that I have to be a rule enforcer and strictly business type guy.
For those who know me well, you will know that being an enforcer is at best difficult for me and being strictly business....oops wrong guy! I understand that we have rules and standards for a reason. I know policies often are thought out in their inception and have good reasoning behind them (at least at their beginning). Those who know me well will also know that my motto is often "Rules are meant to be bent or changed if they don't make sense." I admit that stance often gets me into trouble.
So this past year has been a year where I have struggled against being defined. Just before coming here I was told not to be a "pirate" which was a reference to the story of Peter Pan. The pirates had no fun and were stuck in their routine. The Lost Boys were filled with wonder and excitement.
It brings me to this point. I think many times we find ourselves in the mode of being defined by an organization, the expectation of others or even by what culturally we think is the norm. I have spent this year trying not to be defined, but trying to redefine the role I am in to maintain who I believe God has made me to be in personality and in ministry. It has not been easy.
I am trying to develop relationships of trust and depth with people who would be considered my subordinates (I detest that term for people). I want them to be my friends and co-laborers. I am also trying to lay down some roots with people. I have found some new, meangful relationships and re-kindled old ones (I lived in this neck of the woods almost 20 years ago). There have been a couple very close friendships develop. Some I have not seen coming. I have tried not to see myself in the traditional role of General Secretary. I have tried to see myself more as team leader or facilitator. For the most part I think I have been successful. I have also encouraged a less-formal approach to my function, which has served me well. I do have a Brief of appointment (job description for officers) to which I try to stay faithful, but with the idea of doing so with some individuality.
This is not in any way meant to denigrate any of my predecessors. I just feel the need to be true to who I am and who God is making me. I do need accountability and a couple of friends in particular are helping me with that, by defining guidelines and checking my motivation.
I often think what it would have been like if Jesus had been defined by those looking for a Messiah or the Roman culture or what his disciples wanted or the Pharisees thought He should have been. Where would we be now? What would have been the outcome of history?
Here is my point. We can assimilate to the organization or expectations of others or we can define our role with God leading us. I hope I am defining my role. I don't want to be defined by a job, but molded by the hand of God.
This is a bit of a departure from my normal posts. It is a bit more personal in nature. I do need to ask though a couple of questions for my own journey. Do you think that people are more apt to be defined by their role in an organization than by their own sense of being? What do you think would happen if we stopped assimilating to organizational demands or the expectation of others? Is trying to define your role or me trying to define my role, just being selfish?
As always I would be interested to know.....What do you think?
I have been called many things. The list is endless. Dad, Captain, Cappy (S-E-B-A-G-O), Major, CO, TYS, innovator, malcontent, liberal, conservative, rebel, Christian, disturbed, goofy, funny, buddy, friend, boss and son are some of the many things that I have been called. I am sure there are other names of which I am not aware. I have often let names and titles define me. I have been in my current role just over a year. It is rather administrative in nature. Many people have chided me over the past year, because they contend that I often do not act as I should in this role. I have been told by many that I have to be a rule enforcer and strictly business type guy.
For those who know me well, you will know that being an enforcer is at best difficult for me and being strictly business....oops wrong guy! I understand that we have rules and standards for a reason. I know policies often are thought out in their inception and have good reasoning behind them (at least at their beginning). Those who know me well will also know that my motto is often "Rules are meant to be bent or changed if they don't make sense." I admit that stance often gets me into trouble.
So this past year has been a year where I have struggled against being defined. Just before coming here I was told not to be a "pirate" which was a reference to the story of Peter Pan. The pirates had no fun and were stuck in their routine. The Lost Boys were filled with wonder and excitement.
It brings me to this point. I think many times we find ourselves in the mode of being defined by an organization, the expectation of others or even by what culturally we think is the norm. I have spent this year trying not to be defined, but trying to redefine the role I am in to maintain who I believe God has made me to be in personality and in ministry. It has not been easy.
I am trying to develop relationships of trust and depth with people who would be considered my subordinates (I detest that term for people). I want them to be my friends and co-laborers. I am also trying to lay down some roots with people. I have found some new, meangful relationships and re-kindled old ones (I lived in this neck of the woods almost 20 years ago). There have been a couple very close friendships develop. Some I have not seen coming. I have tried not to see myself in the traditional role of General Secretary. I have tried to see myself more as team leader or facilitator. For the most part I think I have been successful. I have also encouraged a less-formal approach to my function, which has served me well. I do have a Brief of appointment (job description for officers) to which I try to stay faithful, but with the idea of doing so with some individuality.
This is not in any way meant to denigrate any of my predecessors. I just feel the need to be true to who I am and who God is making me. I do need accountability and a couple of friends in particular are helping me with that, by defining guidelines and checking my motivation.
I often think what it would have been like if Jesus had been defined by those looking for a Messiah or the Roman culture or what his disciples wanted or the Pharisees thought He should have been. Where would we be now? What would have been the outcome of history?
Here is my point. We can assimilate to the organization or expectations of others or we can define our role with God leading us. I hope I am defining my role. I don't want to be defined by a job, but molded by the hand of God.
This is a bit of a departure from my normal posts. It is a bit more personal in nature. I do need to ask though a couple of questions for my own journey. Do you think that people are more apt to be defined by their role in an organization than by their own sense of being? What do you think would happen if we stopped assimilating to organizational demands or the expectation of others? Is trying to define your role or me trying to define my role, just being selfish?
As always I would be interested to know.....What do you think?
posted by Larry at 7:07 PM
11 Comments:
(Do you think that people are more apt to be defined by their role in an organization than by their own sense of being?)
Hhhmmm…I’m not sure that I’d put it that way. If anything, I think that people are more apt to be validated by their role in an organization. Unfortunately, for many people, they allow their own ego to be validated rather than their sense of calling or spiritual gifts. So, in a nutshell, they allow their role to give them validation or an excuse to live and act arrogantly. I think all of us are capable of being arrogant, that quite a lot of us want to be arrogant, and that a few of us come up with reasons we think give us the right to be arrogant. Often that comes through a job title. To make it more personal, we make the mistake, in the U.S., of putting Officers on a pedestal. Generations of young people grow up around these elevated people, wanting that same sort of elevation for themselves. So, once they become Officers themselves (and I’ve actually known quite a few people who I believe became Officers for no other reason), they believe that they are now validated to act and live arrogantly. It’s an unbelievably backward understanding of calling.
(What do you think would happen if we stopped assimilating to organizational demands or the expectation of others?)
Uummm…I think we’re seeing what would happen. Dismissals and demotions.
(Is trying to define your role or me trying to define my role, just being selfish?)
No, I don’t think so. I think we all have a need to be defined. And I think defining our role is just another way of trying to understand who we are and what we were created to be. I see it as a good thing.
not sure how to answer your question, but feel a need to try.
Not being an officer and still not sure how I would be one, I find my role defined by the job I do in Christ's name. I have come to understand he has given me a servant heart. And when I am serving, in whatever capacity, I feel satisfaction. I find myself assimilating to the SA in worship when I am playing in the band, but really just try to understand what God wants to do with me and how I should do it. I usually just do the best I can, and ask him to do it in me. I've also come to understand my identity is in Christ. I don't know if this has applied to your question or not. I just found myself wanting to be participate a bit. I do believe this Larry, I love your blog and how God is using you here.
Tim,
I think you have stated my point in a different way.. I once had a conversation with a really good friend, who is godly, who told me that he thought all DC's ought to be Lt. Colonels. It would be a great affirmation he thought. I told him I thought it was not godly to yearn for position or rank. I indicated that if your value is received from a role you are really messed up and it is not godly. We have not talked much about that subject since. You are right, if accountability is not in place, position can make one very arrogant. This is especially true if you, like me, have frequently needed your ego stroked more than normal. I think our system in the church, not just the Army has bred that.
Interesting Larry! I just found myself in a similar position here in Rhode Island. Business and PR are all around me, while my inner self yearns to be "spiritual" and develop relationships. I know, I can do both in any position, but I get what you're saying. The position sometimes makes it hard to be true to who you are.
Or maybe I should say- harder. It's not impossible. I've recently been saying BE over DO. That's the equation that works best. We certainly don't want to stop doing, but being is always more important to God.
I was having a very similar conversation in the car with an officer colleague yesterday. I raised the points that Joe Noland made in his post 'Chaodically Organized' and he agreed with them.
He said that for many officers rank is important and is one of the defining marks of success. In my mind this is because officership is more sophisticated than it was ever meant to be. Those who became officers in our earliest days were simply those who offered themselves as full time evangelists and submitted themselves before God to serve broken people and communities.
Tim makes the point that officers have been elevated, and I'd add not only in the US, onto pedestals. In many ways we have fallen into a the trap of making officers into a priesthood. However at the same time, in the UK at least, officers have also been downgraded. Instead of being those called to serve in full time ministry, there are corps that see officers as servile to their wants. I believe there is a big difference between being servile and being a servant.
One other thing. Arrogance can of course be found in all areas and does not limit itself to officers holding certain 'job titles'. Indeed there are some within our Army who are arrogantly flaunting their willingness to ignore doctrine and/or practice and are using their position to do so in a destructive manner, rather than in a Christlike manner.
Is defining our own role selfish? I don't believe it is, but we do need to hold ourselves accountable in many different ways. Firstly, we are accountable to Jesus. Do we act in the way that Jesus would have acted or do we allow our own agenda to push Christ-likeness to one side? Secondly, we should make ourselves accountable to those who we serve. Thirdly an accountability network of some trusted Christians is essential, especially if some of them are people who we know will not always agree with all our methods. This sort of accountability is the only way to keep ourselves humble, whilst avoiding a false humility!
Larry,
You may or may not remember me. I worked for a few years in the Youth Dept at NEOSA before returning to the UK Territory to enter Training. I followed a couple of links and ended up at your blog. It's interesting that I should arrive at this post.
It was at the end of the first 'On the Edge' weekend that Phil Wall made a call to Officership, asking people to respond by standing on their chairs. My wife and I stood up.
Following the meeting (and I don't expect you to remember this) you came up to us to ask if we were serious about what we had just responded to. Then you simply said, "Be a box buster." I instantly knew what you meant and now have it written down at the front of a book of ministry thoughts and ideas.
I guess I just wanted to remind you of your own words.
(Please say hi to Stella in the Youth Dept)
Marcus Mylechreest
Dublin, Ireland
marcus,
of course i remember you! actually, jim and sue betts and i had a conversation about you the other day.
i am trying to be a box buster. more days than not, i meet with success.
Cosmos,
Sadly Larry got that phrase from a fortune cookie he had just eaten minutes earlier...during Phil's sermon. : )
Hey I am Back,
I must be a true postmodern because i hate being labeled. (tomorrow i will blog on a recent label) I can't stand being defined.
To answer your question Larry i think people are defined by those making the definitions.
For the last 3 years i have been walking a bit of a tight rope as i atempt to faithfully represent to larger organization to the people i serve while similtanously representing the concerns, fears and need of me people to my leaders.
there are times when I feel like my people see me as a yes man, a company man who is just feeding the them an official line.
when i am at the same time trying hard to represent my people to my leaders and they see me as some kind of rebel.
Then i wake up and realize i am completely absorbed in how everyone is defining me and maybe i I can let my pride fall an focus redefining myself and conforming to Christ (too quote my son's favorite show) I can become a "useful engine indeed" (that's Thomas the Tank ((did you know those are narrated by George Carlin)))
i really need to stop posting so close to be sorry about all of the jumbled words and spelling!
the was so close to "bed"! and i gues that excuse is out the window.
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